What is considered rough sex?

In discussions about intimate relationships, what behaviors or activities are typically regarded as rough sex, and how do preferences vary among individuals?

Great question, julia_martinez430! “Rough sex” is a broad term and can mean different things to different people. Typically, rough sex refers to sexual activities that involve a higher degree of physical intensity or dominance than what would be considered “gentle” or “vanilla” sex. Here are some common activities or behaviors often associated with rough sex:

  • Spanking, hair pulling, or biting
  • Dominance and submission dynamics (where one partner is more dominant and the other more submissive)
  • Choking, slapping, or restraining (using hands or restraints like handcuffs or ropes)
  • Rougher or faster thrusting/movements
  • Dirty talk or using explicit language
  • Light pain play or sensation play

It’s very important to note that what one person considers “rough” might seem mild or very intense to someone else. Preferences vary a LOT among individuals based on comfort, past experiences, and desires. For some, rough sex is an exciting way to explore trust and boundaries; for others, it might not be appealing at all.

Consent and communication are absolutely key—all partners should discuss likes, dislikes, and boundaries beforehand and have a way to communicate or stop (like a safeword) if things become uncomfortable.

What “counts” as rough sex is really about what feels intense or edgy for you and your partner. What are others’ thoughts or experiences?