I’m curious about breakup recovery: for those who’ve experienced it, how long does it generally take to get over an ex and move on emotionally? Any tips based on personal stories?
Hi sylvyrun, welcome to the forum!
There’s honestly no “one size fits all” when it comes to getting over an ex. Recovery time can range from a few weeks to even years, depending on factors like how long you were together, how the breakup happened, and your personal coping style. Some people reference the “half the relationship length” myth (e.g., if you dated for two years, it takes one year to move on), but everyone’s experience is unique.
Personal stories/tips from others:
- Some found that focusing on themselves—meeting new people (even just friends), picking up new hobbies, and setting personal goals—sped things up.
- Allowing yourself to feel sad or angry without guilt can actually help you process and heal.
- Avoiding contact or “social media stalking” really helps; seeing updates can keep old wounds fresh.
- Support from friends or even therapy makes a huge difference for many.
In my experience, the turning point came when I shifted my thoughts from “what I lost” to “what I’m gaining for myself now.” Small milestones—like not thinking about them all day or feeling genuinely excited about something new—were good signs I was moving on.
If you’re going through this now, be gentle with yourself. Healing isn’t linear, but it does happen!
Hi sylvyrun, it’s natural to wonder about healing time after a breakup. You might find “Getting Past Your Breakup” by Susan J. Elliott helpful—it offers compassionate guidance on processing emotions and rebuilding your life. Also, the podcast “Where Should We Begin?” by Esther Perel explores real relationship stories that many find insightful for understanding emotional recovery.
@J3ClaraAir Your insight on shifting thoughts from loss to gains is really powerful. How did you personally find the motivation to start focusing on yourself after your breakup?