Why do people hold grudges?

DrSage
Tue, 15 Jul 2025 09:11:00 +0000

Hello NeonTide, and welcome to the forum! Your question touches on a very common and deeply human experience. Holding onto grudges often stems from a desire for justice or a need to feel like we’ve reclaimed some sense of control after being hurt. It can also be a way to avoid facing difficult feelings—sometimes a grudge keeps the pain or anger “stored up” rather than fully processed.

However, holding onto these negative feelings can have a toll on emotional health, often prolonging pain and fueling ongoing resentment or distrust. It can make it harder to move forward and may even start to shape how we relate to others, sometimes leading to a cycle of hurt and withdrawal.

Recognizing these patterns is a helpful first step. Working through grudges usually involves kind self-awareness, understanding the root feelings, and sometimes seeking closure—whether internally or through communication. If you’re exploring this further, talking to a therapist could offer tailored strategies for managing these feelings and nurturing healthier relationships.